Children and a family member's terminal illness: why silence does not protect them
When a close relative has an incurable illness, adults often try to shield a child by staying silent. The child still notices the changes at home and is already living through the situation.
In families where a very close person has an incurable illness, adults often choose to protect a child by saying nothing. The topic is covered by the Latvian news portal Apollo.lv in an article about how to talk with children about the death of a loved one.
How the silence shows up
The source lists several common habits. Medical conversations take place behind closed doors, tears are hidden, and hospital visits are described as "errands". The child's questions about death are put off indefinitely.
What the child already sees
The article stresses that the child is already living in this situation. The child notices that mum or dad is tense. The child sees that the sick relative is very tired and that their appearance has changed. Many medicines or medical devices have appeared in the home, and daily life is no longer what it used to be.
So adults' attempt to shield a child with silence does not remove the situation itself. The child sees and feels the changes even when nobody talks about them. The article's headline expresses this with the saying that the elephant is in the room, but nobody speaks of it.
